Grace, gentleness and your health journey

Listen to the audio version. We’ve all seen the health advice that promotes unnecessarily restrictive diets, conditions us to view exercise as a chore, or places one’s health status entirely in the hands of the individual. Many of us may have grown up with family members who spoke negatively about their bodies, or who were on diet after diet. Or perhaps, like me, you have cycled through many overly restrictive diets, with varying degrees of success. You’re not alone. Of course, eating nutrient-dense food and exercising regularly are beneficial to our overall health. However, showing ourselves grace, rather than shame, during this process, goes a long way.

Perceptions of health professionals vs. reality

My approach to health and wellness has shifted throughout the years. My training, as many of you know, began with holistic nutrition and health coaching. Now, I am nearly done with my Master of Public Health in nutrition and my registered dietitian credential. At times, when people hear about my career change, they joke about how I will judge the food they eat, assume that I never eat “unhealthy food,” or think that I would scrutinize their body. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Not only would I not judge their food choices, assigning moral value to food and exercise doesn’t really help people. Instead, showing grace and being gentle goes a long way to helping individuals reach their health goals in the long term. It also helps heal relationships with our bodies and food.

Of course, research shows that obesity can lead to poor health outcomes and losing weight can improve health outcomes. Some people may need to be on restrictive diets due to medical conditions. As well, eating nutrient-dense foods and exercising regularly are wonderful things and we should keep doing them! However, beating ourselves up when we eat something “bad” or miss a workout helps none of us.

Fear of judgment leads to less utilization of health services

Judgment or shame in the name of good health is counter-productive. According to a systematic review of studies on PubMed, patient concern with weight bias from health providers is associated with a lower utilization of health care services. Meaning, patients who are overweight or obese may avoid going to the doctor due to fear of weight shaming or bias. They may avoid wellness checkups and vital healthcare services due to disrespectful treatment by a health care provider, assumptions about weight gain, barriers to health care, and may delay or avoid accessing health services. Obviously, this is counter-productive for these individuals!

A body doesn’t always tell the whole story

We don’t know the whole story behind someone’s body size or health condition! Many people experience illness, disability, or are on medications that cause weight gain – or weight loss. These are things that aren’t apparent to the naked eye. If this is happening to you, don’t fret. Treat yourself and your body gently.

If you still want to and are able to exercise, try to find resources online or in-person geared toward your specific illness or disability. Working with a registered dietitian who specializes in your health condition, or finding an exercise instructor who works with your disability, can help you feel more in control. Also remember that rest is vital! Your body needs rest and it’s okay to allow it to do that!

The social determinants of health

While individual efforts toward improving one’s health status are important, an individual’s health and weight are often influenced by environmental factors, many of which are out of one’s control. The social determinants of health, which are the conditions in which people live, work, learn, and play, impact people’s health in positive or negative ways. Adequate resources to purchase healthy food, access to health care and insurance, a walkable and safe neighborhood in which to exercise, access to and reliable transportation to acquire nutritious food and other environmental factors, all affect the health of an individual.

Not all weight loss is healthy

Also, not all weight loss is healthy. In some cases, if you lose weight too quickly, this can be a risk factor for malnutrition. While I’ve lost weight in healthy ways, through consuming more nutrient-dense foods and exercising, I’ve also lost drastic amounts of weight due to illness and other issues (and been highly praised for it by well-intentioned people).

Showing our bodies grace

Is there an alternative? YES! My suggestion? Supporting others, as well as ourselves, with a little grace. This grace starts with ourselves. While we may not always love our bodies, incorporating the concept of body neutrality, where we accept our bodies and appreciate them for all of their amazing abilities, can help us on our wellness journeys. Think about all of the wonderful things your body can do! And how great it feels to exercise and move with joy.

Being more gentle with myself and showing myself grace has actually helped me eat more nutrient-dense foods! Because I don’t demonize foods or assign moral value to food anymore, I instead try to tune into how certain foods make my body feel after I eat them! I began to actually look forward to a big bowl of salad with my choice of protein, rather than viewing it as something I “have” to do. I began adding nutrient-dense items to my meals, rather than focusing on restricting “bad” foods. (I’ll talk more about this in future posts.)

Choosing fitness activities we enjoy vs. seeing exercise as a chore

Being gentle with ourselves also affects how often we move. We are more likely to engage in and continue an exercise regime if we enjoy doing it! According to research, joy is one of the strongest driving forces toward physical activity. Finding activities we enjoy doing, rather than seeing exercise as a chore or as punishment, is a stronger predictor that people will actually choose and, more importantly, stick to an exercise routine.

I’ve learned to accept my body and focus on what it can do for me. Do I want to get stronger? Sure! There is nothing wrong with wanting that and working out vigorously! But it’s counterproductive to speak negatively to myself in the process, or be unhappy with my body until it fits into a specific “ideal.”

Dealing with collective trauma

Lastly, we’ve collectively experienced a few years of trauma during the pandemic, and we have not yet healed from its devastating personal and societal effects. This is why it is even more important to show ourselves – and others – a little grace and gentleness. We’ve all been affected by this trauma – and so have our bodies!

I wish you healing and grace as you continue on your wellness journey, whatever that may be!

References:

Alberga, A. S., Edache, I. Y., Forhan, M., & Russell-Mayhew, S. (2019). Weight bias and health care utilization: a scoping review. Primary health care research & development, 20, e116. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1463423619000227

Braveman, P., & Gottlieb, L. (2014). The social determinants of health: it’s time to consider the causes of the causes. Public health reports (Washington, D.C. : 1974), 129 Suppl 2(Suppl 2), 19–31. https://doi.org/10.1177/00333549141291S206

Saunders, J., & Smith, T. (2010). Malnutrition: causes and consequences. Clinical medicine (London, England), 10(6), 624–627. https://doi.org/10.7861/clinmedicine.10-6-624

Angel S. (2018). Movement perceived as chores or a source of joy: a phenomenological-hermeneutic study of physical activity and health. International journal of qualitative studies on health and well-being, 13(1), 1516088. https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2018.1516088